Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Number 1
I dreamt I was on holiday in Spain with my Aunt Florence; I was in a wheelchair but I was not disabled. I had found the wheelchair at our hotel and I enjoyed its comforts. From the balcony of our room I could see a courtyard; and in the courtyard were dancing girls. I went down to the courtyard in my newly acquired wheelchair hoping and praying that the dancing girls would take pity on me and give me a sympathy fuck.
The next thing I remember I was arguing with the hotel manager and was asked to leave the resort; I of course refused. The hotel manager called for hotel security; when they arrived to my surprise it was only a muscle bound midget. We fought and even though I kept knocking him down, he kept jumping back up. He was very strong.

Number 2
I lived in a 5 storey house and I was just about to leave for work on my bike, when all these Japanese people suddenly appeared and lived in the house as well. It was now a block of flats.

Number 3
I was in Ireland and I was a fighter. The fighting took place in a pub that had a wooden pit in the centre; you had to pay the landlady £500 to fight and then the winner would take £1000. I had a fight and lost, then watched more fights, then had another fight and lost.
I saw Julia Hesselberg sat in one of the booths in the pub; she was heavily pregnant and eating a raw cabbage. She got up and paid the landlady to fight; she said that she needed the money for her baby.
I said that she couldn’t fight because she was pregnant, and said that I would fight for her. Everyone agreed.
So I fought this big bloke and before I fought him my body pumped up and my muscles felt like rock. I beat the bloke and then gave the money to Julia Hesselberg, then said to her, ‘If I fight for myself I lose, but I fight for others then I win’.

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